How Am I Communicating Incorrectly? How can I communicate better?

You are spoiling her with soft love and she needs tough love. I was a brat just like her. she needs her dads love. My mom was just like you and for some reason I couldn't honestly feel love for my mom until now. BUT!!! I always found my dad and have him in my life (somewhat) you are just going to have to be patient with her. She has to grow up and learn what you went through for her to understand why are you who you are. So (nicely) she's a brat. Mind you I was and is one too. I"m 26 now. I don't have time to read your whole text but what I did read she sounds like me. Let her mature and understand life. Toughen up a bit. Don't push her away but...you'll figure out what I mean...Good Luck!